What Are Realistic and Healthy Relationship Goals for the Upcoming Year?

Have social media status updates caused you to feel dissatisfied with your significant other? Perhaps you don’t show up in your partner’s social media feed as much as you want. Or maybe you have begun to compare the amount of attention your spouse gives to what you see others receiving in your Instagram feed? Could it be that your expectations of your partner, spouse, or current love interest are off the mark? And it’s the stuff you aren’t thinking about that you should be focusing on?

Here are the real goals that will help relationships strengthen and thrive.

Work through issues together.

Orange County marriage counseling expert, Piper Walsh, says, “Sometimes the same old unsolved problems keep cropping up over and over again. The same arguments happen day in and day out. One spouse is driving the other crazy with unacceptable behavior. There are seemingly impossible situations that neither believes can be overcome.” Sound familiar?

Recognizing negative communication patterns is half the problem solved. The other half is in voicing your concerns to your partner in a constructive way. One where the partner does not feel attacked. Often, couples can greatly benefit in working through issues by using the safe space that counselors provide.

Whether you talk out your issues at home or in the presence of a counselor, the important thing is that you are both aware of your sensitive spots. And are working toward a mutually agreeable compromise.

Talk about social media boundaries.

With so much of our lives now online, establishing rules for social media etiquette has become a talk partners should have. It might be easy for some to make light of social media use and believe that it has little effect on their relationship. And this might be true for a few people. But for many, this is a topic that should be on the table. Some aspects that can be a sore spot for you and your partner and which you may want to establish ground rules regarding include the following:

• What you or your spouse can share on social media regarding the other person, details of your relationship, etc.

• The use of social media or phone use when spending time together on a date.

• Boundaries regarding commenting on ex-partner’s statuses, etc.

• Reading text messages or other information on your partner’s phone that was not meant for your eyes.

These topics may be uncomfortable to discuss, but doing so can help to prevent future hurt and misunderstandings.

Make appointments with your partner.

A danger sign that your relationship might be heading for some rocky roads? When you no longer prioritize spending time together. Life has its busy moments, and there will be times when work demands cause you to spend less time with your partner. But these should be the exception. Make dates with your significant other to do something you both enjoy.

What you do together does matter. Simply shopping for groceries together will not provide you both with a way to relax together and enjoy a stress-free environment. Take a little time to plan for something that you both can look forward to. Look for something new to try out together. A new restaurant, a new movie playing in the cinema, or a day trip somewhere you have not been to before. Trying new things with your spouse creates another bonding moment and a memory you can share forever.

Show you care, each day.

Often, partners and spouses save up their romantic gestures for the big moments of life. Birthdays, Christmases, New Years, and anniversaries. But it is the daily thoughtfulness that keeps you both positive about each other and seeing the good in the other.

This might seem a given as a relationship goal, but it can often be pushed to the back of our minds and our to-do lists. But there is a reason that you have decided to share your life with another. And celebrating that reason will keep you both together instead of drifting apart. You do this by showing your partner you care, respect, and love them.

Little acts of appreciation contribute to a solid foundation that can weather the more difficult times of life. How this translates into your life will mean different things depending on how your partner likes to be appreciated. If you don’t know what to do, simply ask. Your interest and concern will speak volumes about your commitment to your relationship.