Maybe condoms aren't your favorite conversation item, but if you're too embarrassed to talk about protection with your partner, you may not be ready to have sex. Still, we know that bringing up condom use can sometimes be a tricky subject. Here are some helpful hints to make condom talk a little bit easier:
- Don't be shy. Be direct about your feelings. There's no reason to be embarrassed!
- Don't wait until the heat of the moment to bring it up. Talk about condom use before you are in a situation where you might need one.
- Don't be afraid of rejection. If a partner doesn't care enough about you to use a condom and protect your health, then she or he probably isn't worth your time. As 18-year-old Ari says, "If your partner turns condom use into a trust issue instead of a health issue, why would you want to have sex with that person anyway?"
- Be positive! Many people find sex more enjoyable when they're protected because they don't have to worry about pregnancy and infections. It's called peace of mind!
You may also want to practice what you are going to say to your
partner. Here are some suggestions:
If Your Partner Says: Baby, you can trust me.
You Can Say: Trust has nothing to do with it. One of us
could have a sexually transmitted infection and not even know it.
We need to use protection. Every time. Even with trust!
If Your Partner Says: I thought you loved me...
You Can Say: I do love you. What's love got to do with
it? Neither of us should have to "prove our love" by not using protection.
Love is about respect. And staying safe. I love you. That's why
I want us to both be safe.
And most importantly...
If Your Partner Says: I'm not wearing a condom... and
that is the end of this discussion.
You Can Say: Well, then I guess sex is going to have to
wait... and that is the end of this discussion! I'm all about Living
Up. And staying safe. We use a condom each and every time.
Talking about condom use is easier if you are in a healthy relationship that makes you feel good about yourself. But no matter what, it's very important to communicate with partners about condoms. It's all about protecting your health!
If you have not often used condoms in the past, but you remain sexually active, it's a great idea to start using them correctly from now on. It's never too late to protect yourself and your partner.
